Cobbler and Gratitude...

...or 'When Life Gives You Lemons, Make Gingered Peach Raspberry Cobbler'. Yeah, that was the working title. But it was too unyieldy.

So today started off so nice. A calm, peaceful Sunday morning...A rest day for me - my first this week - so much needed. But you guys know me. A rest day simply means I didn't bust my hump at the gym or at Crossfit. Not that I actually rested. What a thought. I honestly don't know if I know how to do that! I'll even clean if I'm sick...but I digress...

Let's see..Reilly had a hike with his Cub Scout troup. We went to church and then hit up Winco, Costco, and Henry's to stock the pantry and fridges for the week. Started working on the food prep for the week...everything was going good. Then Rei volunteers to go get the mail from yesterday, which is still sitting around the corner in the mailbox. And in the mail is a damn overdue notice for my water bill. This brings up all kinds of angst that I had actually managed to put on the back burner for a day or two. And the him, who is supposed to pay those bills, even though he's not in the home any longer, is not answering his phone. So I remain stressed. and pissed.

Then, I get in the car to take Katy to youth group and as I pull out of my driveway, it sounds like legions of demons straight from the depths of hell are screaming for mercy underneath my car. Even I know that means I should stop. And my neighbor, Gary, who is very automotively inclined and just happened to be outside, informed me that "blahblahblah metal blah blah on my rotor blah blah brake failure".

hmph.

Ok then. Do I need a tow truck?

No, he says...I can probably get about 30 miles out of it before they go completely.

well, ok then! Thanks!

and with that, me and my daughter and my caterwauling car return to my driveway.

So now I have 30 miles minus 100 feet of driving left on my brakes. I'm pretty sure that'll get me to the dealership.

So, it could be much worse...but for some reason, it was all I could handle today. I sent Katy inside and proceeded to lay my head on my steering wheel and bawl my eyes out. Either one of these things I could have handled...both together were my undoing. I apparently do have limits. Unfortunately, crying in your driveway is not a good way to avoid discovery. Just in case you are in need of a good solitary cry, you might want to keep this in mind. I would recommend driving somewhere where no one can see you and then parking and crying. I recommend doing that in a working car.

So me and the kids head inside and have a good talk. Then I need to finish the food prep and feed these kidlings. But first I need to re-group. So I grab a glass of merlot and head upstair and give myself a five minute time-in in my bedroom. where my laptop and that happy little world known as Facebook lives.

Now, I know a lot of people don't get Facebook...but let me tell you what a mental lifesaver it can be. Here I am, dressed in my 'hanging out at home, so no one is going to see me' clothes. Hair thrown on top of my head because I can't chop with my hair down (that's a true statement...I make exceptions when I have company and have actually put some effort into my appearance...but for the rest of the time, hair on top of my head means I'm in business! But again with the digressions...). Eyes red and puffy from crying. Nose red and swollen from blowing - which you all know goes hand in hand with a good gut-cleansing cry! And I still have children that need to be fed and chores that need to be finished. I don't have time to call my girlfriends one by one and coordinate a meeting place and time and see who can possibly come and get me and take me away and get me drunk and return me safely home again. (though my across the street neighbor and new friend, Leticia, has graciously offered good wine and hugs at her house next time the need arises. Leticia...read the above description of what I looked like. Consider yourself forwarned!)

Yet with one merlot-inspired post, my girlfriends rally around me. Old friends and new. Friends across the street and friends in Pennslyvania. Friends I've known forever and friends I've never actually met in person. Posts on my wall. Emails. IMs. Words of wisdom...cyber hugs...offers to send out a hit team.

Girlpower strength and love being served up cyber-cafe style. What's not to get about that?

So, soul soothed, I open my bedroom door and rejoin my life. I made the kids carne asada nachos. I thought about what I wanted for dinner. Call it the merlot talking, but what I wanted was NOT dinner and was NOT paleo. And I said 'to hell with it'! And proceeded to throw caution to the wind, and peaches in the pyrex, with reckless abandon. That was probably the merlot too!

Jen's 'If-this-(and half a bottle of Merlot)-don't-make-me-feel-better-nothing-will' Gingered Peach Raspberry Cobbler

6 perfectly ripe peaches. You know the kind...the ones that drip down your forearm when you bite into 'em. The kind that smell like summer. The kind that, with the right person, makes you lose the afternoon after a well-meaning lick of that drop of peach juice running down the other's chin ignites a fire! Yeah..those are the ones! Now... leave the skin on, and cut 'em into wedges. Grab a pint of raspberries and about an inch square knob of fresh ginger root, grated. Mix fruit and ginger in a pyrex with about 1/4 cup of sugar. Cover with about 2 cups of organic peach cranberry granola. Evenly sprinkle about 1/2 cup of brown sugar on top of the granola, then liberally and lovingly dot with beautiful chunks of butter. Bake at 350 degrees until all bubbly and gooey looking underneath and all nice and toasty looking on top.

Mmmmmmmmmm! It was TO.DIE.FOR! I will admit it's the first non-paleo baked treat I've had in almost two months, but I don't think my tastebuds were that hard up. It tasted amazing! The fresh ginger had a lot to do with it! Perfect complement to the fruit! and normally I would make my own streusel topping with oats and walnuts and other good things. But for some reason I thought of the granola and I really liked the way it turned out! And I would have pictures for you - it was like eating a sunset, what with the peach and the reds of the raspberries...but alas, my camera broke the other day.

So here it is, almost midnight. Way past my bedtime. But I couldn't sleep tonight, even after a shower. But now that I've purged today and transfered it here to my blog, I think I can. I'm going to bed thinking not about what what wrong today, but what went right...

I'm grateful for my beautiful, strong, amazingly resourceful children who are handling this situation with more grace and aplomb than I sometimes feel I am.

I'm grateful that every time I go to church, something speaks directly to me and what I'm dealing with in my life at the time. Sometimes it's an entire service, sometimes a song, sometimes a snippet of prayer. But there's always something.

I'm grateful for the perfect watermelon and pineapple that I cut up for the kids today. The pineapple had that wonderful cinnamon undertone that is so elusive. It was delicious!

I am grateful that the asparagus at Costco today was tiny, tender little baby asparagus. And I'm grateful I decided to treat myself and buy the smoked salmon there too. The salmon, wrapped around the asparagus, made the perfect before bed snack just now.

I'm grateful that I have such an amazingly diverse group of friend - near and far - that have my back when I need them too.

I'm grateful for my health and my strength and my spirit and my fortitude.

I'm grateful that it's now time for me to go to bed.

Night all!