Sunday, September 20, 2009

Cobbler and Gratitude...


...or 'When Life Gives You Lemons, Make Gingered Peach Raspberry Cobbler'. Yeah, that was the working title. But it was too unyieldy.

So today started off so nice. A calm, peaceful Sunday morning...A rest day for me - my first this week - so much needed. But you guys know me. A rest day simply means I didn't bust my hump at the gym or at Crossfit. Not that I actually rested. What a thought. I honestly don't know if I know how to do that! I'll even clean if I'm sick...but I digress...

Let's see..Reilly had a hike with his Cub Scout troup. We went to church and then hit up Winco, Costco, and Henry's to stock the pantry and fridges for the week. Started working on the food prep for the week...everything was going good. Then Rei volunteers to go get the mail from yesterday, which is still sitting around the corner in the mailbox. And in the mail is a damn overdue notice for my water bill. This brings up all kinds of angst that I had actually managed to put on the back burner for a day or two. And the him, who is supposed to pay those bills, even though he's not in the home any longer, is not answering his phone. So I remain stressed. and pissed.

Then, I get in the car to take Katy to youth group and as I pull out of my driveway, it sounds like legions of demons straight from the depths of hell are screaming for mercy underneath my car. Even I know that means I should stop. And my neighbor, Gary, who is very automotively inclined and just happened to be outside, informed me that "blahblahblah metal blah blah on my rotor blah blah brake failure".

hmph.

Ok then. Do I need a tow truck?

No, he says...I can probably get about 30 miles out of it before they go completely.

well, ok then! Thanks!

and with that, me and my daughter and my caterwauling car return to my driveway.

So now I have 30 miles minus 100 feet of driving left on my brakes. I'm pretty sure that'll get me to the dealership.

So, it could be much worse...but for some reason, it was all I could handle today. I sent Katy inside and proceeded to lay my head on my steering wheel and bawl my eyes out. Either one of these things I could have handled...both together were my undoing. I apparently do have limits. Unfortunately, crying in your driveway is not a good way to avoid discovery. Just in case you are in need of a good solitary cry, you might want to keep this in mind. I would recommend driving somewhere where no one can see you and then parking and crying. I recommend doing that in a working car.

So me and the kids head inside and have a good talk. Then I need to finish the food prep and feed these kidlings. But first I need to re-group. So I grab a glass of merlot and head upstair and give myself a five minute time-in in my bedroom. where my laptop and that happy little world known as Facebook lives.

Now, I know a lot of people don't get Facebook...but let me tell you what a mental lifesaver it can be. Here I am, dressed in my 'hanging out at home, so no one is going to see me' clothes. Hair thrown on top of my head because I can't chop with my hair down (that's a true statement...I make exceptions when I have company and have actually put some effort into my appearance...but for the rest of the time, hair on top of my head means I'm in business! But again with the digressions...). Eyes red and puffy from crying. Nose red and swollen from blowing - which you all know goes hand in hand with a good gut-cleansing cry! And I still have children that need to be fed and chores that need to be finished. I don't have time to call my girlfriends one by one and coordinate a meeting place and time and see who can possibly come and get me and take me away and get me drunk and return me safely home again. (though my across the street neighbor and new friend, Leticia, has graciously offered good wine and hugs at her house next time the need arises. Leticia...read the above description of what I looked like. Consider yourself forwarned!)

Yet with one merlot-inspired post, my girlfriends rally around me. Old friends and new. Friends across the street and friends in Pennslyvania. Friends I've known forever and friends I've never actually met in person. Posts on my wall. Emails. IMs. Words of wisdom...cyber hugs...offers to send out a hit team.

Girlpower strength and love being served up cyber-cafe style. What's not to get about that?

So, soul soothed, I open my bedroom door and rejoin my life. I made the kids carne asada nachos. I thought about what I wanted for dinner. Call it the merlot talking, but what I wanted was NOT dinner and was NOT paleo. And I said 'to hell with it'! And proceeded to throw caution to the wind, and peaches in the pyrex, with reckless abandon. That was probably the merlot too!

Jen's 'If-this-(and half a bottle of Merlot)-don't-make-me-feel-better-nothing-will' Gingered Peach Raspberry Cobbler



6 perfectly ripe peaches. You know the kind...the ones that drip down your forearm when you bite into 'em. The kind that smell like summer. The kind that, with the right person, makes you lose the afternoon after a well-meaning lick of that drop of peach juice running down the other's chin ignites a fire! Yeah..those are the ones! Now... leave the skin on, and cut 'em into wedges. Grab a pint of raspberries and about an inch square knob of fresh ginger root, grated. Mix fruit and ginger in a pyrex with about 1/4 cup of sugar. Cover with about 2 cups of organic peach cranberry granola. Evenly sprinkle about 1/2 cup of brown sugar on top of the granola, then liberally and lovingly dot with beautiful chunks of butter. Bake at 350 degrees until all bubbly and gooey looking underneath and all nice and toasty looking on top.

Mmmmmmmmmm! It was TO.DIE.FOR! I will admit it's the first non-paleo baked treat I've had in almost two months, but I don't think my tastebuds were that hard up. It tasted amazing! The fresh ginger had a lot to do with it! Perfect complement to the fruit! and normally I would make my own streusel topping with oats and walnuts and other good things. But for some reason I thought of the granola and I really liked the way it turned out! And I would have pictures for you - it was like eating a sunset, what with the peach and the reds of the raspberries...but alas, my camera broke the other day.

So here it is, almost midnight. Way past my bedtime. But I couldn't sleep tonight, even after a shower. But now that I've purged today and transfered it here to my blog, I think I can. I'm going to bed thinking not about what what wrong today, but what went right...

I'm grateful for my beautiful, strong, amazingly resourceful children who are handling this situation with more grace and aplomb than I sometimes feel I am.

I'm grateful that every time I go to church, something speaks directly to me and what I'm dealing with in my life at the time. Sometimes it's an entire service, sometimes a song, sometimes a snippet of prayer. But there's always something.

I'm grateful for the perfect watermelon and pineapple that I cut up for the kids today. The pineapple had that wonderful cinnamon undertone that is so elusive. It was delicious!

I am grateful that the asparagus at Costco today was tiny, tender little baby asparagus. And I'm grateful I decided to treat myself and buy the smoked salmon there too. The salmon, wrapped around the asparagus, made the perfect before bed snack just now.

I'm grateful that I have such an amazingly diverse group of friend - near and far - that have my back when I need them too.

I'm grateful for my health and my strength and my spirit and my fortitude.

I'm grateful that it's now time for me to go to bed.

Night all!

Friday, September 18, 2009

9-18-09 Log

Slept so well last night! about 7.5 hours...and I didn't wake up once!

CF was good today! After toasting my lower body over the last three days, I did offer up a prayer to the Crossfit deities as I drove to the gym this morning, asking for a good upper body workout that I could actually do. And apparently, I've been a good (enough) girl that my prayers were answered! The CF WoD was 5x3 of push presses, which I couldn't do since I'm still, still, STILL dealing with tendonitis in my right shoulder (but which I am, as I type, icing like that good girl we already ascertained I am!) - but the Kettlebell workout was exactly what I wanted! 20 rounds of (5 each side single arm swings, 5 each side cleans, and 5 each side presses). Because of my shoulder, I held the bell with both hands to do the presses and really concentrated on keeping my shoulders back and using my lats to pull down (thanks, Louie!). Just what the doctor ordered! Took me about 33 minutes and made me sweat. Those presses were the hardest thing at the end, even with two hands! Used the 16 kg 'bell for the whole thing.

Ended up at Kohl's after CF to buy another pair of my new shorts...when two people compliment you, and the dang things were on clearance for $4.20, you'd have to be a moron not to go buy another pair! : -) So I went there with innocent thoughts of actually paying cash and leaving the credit card securely holstered. Alas, I wandered into the junior's section. Stacy and Clinton would be SO very ashamed of me! They constantly belabour the fact that 40 year old women are never to shop in the junior's department. Never, ever, ever under any circumstances. Well, I'm going to assume they mean 40 year old women who aren't in shape and don't have discerning taste! That caveat works for me! ha! And I honestly needed stuff...none of my jeans from last winter fit anymore, and I really didn't want to be caught in one of our ruthless Southern California cold snaps with nothing but CF duds and frayed cut offs and tank tops! And I no longer have to worry. My new best friends are the Levi Tilted Low cut straight leg jeans...black and dark rinse...in size 7. Oh my goodness? Can I say that again? *ahem* Size 7! Damn, that feels good! And my daughter is going to be so proud of me because, after a year of her harping on me, I actually now own a pair of skinny jeans! Beautiful darkones with a deep green rinse that I adore! IAbsolutely love them! And a black mid-thigh mini with the most awesome big belt. And a red plaid not-quite-mid-thigh pleated mini. Which I oh-so-seriously need to finally get those 20-eyelet Doc Martens to go with! And a sage green silk baby doll with cap sleeves and sort of Mandarin-inspired embroidery. And three! yes, three! of the 'they-must-have-used-my-body-as-the-model-when-they-made-it' butter soft shirts. One blue and green plaid, one red and white, the other the perfect slate grey. they fit perfectly! Nips in at the waist...fits the old boobs...doesn't pull across the butt. And I know I'm going to be fighting Kaity for those shirts every week! I can't remember the last time I had this much fun shopping!

Now, down to business:

7:45 1 egg scrambled with mushrooms, zuchinni, 1/2 diced jalapeno and a crapload! of garlic.

8:30 - 9:30 The totally awesome, I could do it all, kettlebell workout!

10:00 Cashew Larabar

1:45 Last of the ground turkey cooked with onions, jalapenos,and green peppers...threw it on top of a big salad of greens, artisian lettuces, cucumber, radishes, zuchinni, avocado, and grilled corn. Dressed with lemon juice, paprika, cayenne, cumin, fenugreek, tumeric, and crushed red pepper.

4:30 small handful of walnuts

Obviously, not done for the day yet...but it's time to shower and get ready for the first high school football game of the season. My daughter is in marching badnd and it's their first show! and my boys are so excited to be going to a football game! More later!

9-17-09 Log

So...I wasn't planning on weighing myself today. Am back on track and want to stick to once a week weigh ins. But had a doctors appt today and they threw me on the scale. I was all mentally prepared for the difference that being fully clothes and hydrated mid-day - as opposed to butt naked first thing in the morning - would have on my weight. So was oh-so-excited to see a nice strong 148 pop up on that scale. Booyah! First time in recorded-in-hospital-record history that I'm officially NOT overweight. Yeah me! So then WHY oh WHY, when I go to Kohl's afterwards to buy some new exercise pants, do I still insist on bringing larges into the dressing room with me. I never want to mentally fuck myself by trying on something to small to begin with and feeling bad. Old habits die hard, I guess. So I will bring in 4 different sizes and start working my way down from the top. It really makes shopping take to long. I ended up with some perfect Fila pants in XS!!!!! XS!!!!!! on the bottom! with this ass! Ha! Maybe from now on I can start with the mediums or, dare I say it, the smalls?

Less than 6 hours of sleep last night because I was worrying someone was trying to break in. So not off to a good start. Then with the turmoil of this morning, I didn't have time to pack something to eat post-wod, and didn't have time to stop and get anything on the way to the Drs...so very large, very bad, big empty void in my eating. won't happen again!

8:00 1 hard boiled egg, 1 apple, 2 Tbs of almond butter and cinnamon

9:45 12 minute WOD. I'm going to pretend today was a rest day.

2:00 Ground turkey with big salad (greens, cucumbers, radish, zuchinni, tomatoes, peppers). Sunflower and pumpkin seeds for fat. Lemon juice and spices.

4:00 1 nectarine

7:30 4 oz chicken breast, 1/2 yellow squash, 12 almonds.

10:30 couldn't sleep because I was hungry. Ate about 2-3 oz flank steak and an apple with almond butter and cinnamon

9-16-09 Log

Sooo...as many of you know, this last month has been pretty darn stressful for me! Can you say 'understatement'?! And when I was finally brave enough to weigh myself monday, for the first time since this all started...I was up to 151 from 147.5. And it wasn't from eating to much...just the opposite...I had no appetite and would forget meals and I wasn't sleeping. A sure-fire recipe for disaster! So Monday I re-dedicated myself and hit the ground running. almost 8 hours of sleep the last two nights...and nary a skipped meal! and today...149. Yes! So I know you guys don't always believe me when I say to eat more or get more sleep, but the proof is right here! : -) Have a great day guys!

7.75 hours sleep.

7:45 2 hb eggs, 6 strawberries, 12 almonds

8:15 teach xbiking

9:15 coconut water and 1 larabar (yeah...I said screw it to the whole 'I'll only eat half' idea! ha!)

9:16 teach xbiking

11:00 Nice bowl of paleo chili (ground turkey and tons of veggies)...no oil or avocado since it's post wod!

12:30 3 stalks asparagus and a small handful of walnuts

3:00 3 oz chicken breast, a small bag of tomatoes and baby peppers

7:00 4 oz grilled tilapia with a huge salad (greens, mushrooms, peppers, tomatoes, cucumbers, zuchinni), sunflower and pumpkin seeds for fat. lemon juice and spices.

8:00 WANTEDNEEDEDABSOLUTELYHADTOHAVE something sweet. Into the blender: 1/2 banana, some lite coconut milk, some walnuts, shredded coconut, and ice cubes. Whirled it all up. Threw about 1 oz raisins in their to because for some odd reason, that sounded too good!

9-15-09 Log

only 6.75 hours of sleep. But it's hard to get to bed any earlier than 11:30 on the night I teach until 7:30...too much energy!

7:45 1 egg scrambled with ground turkey, jalapenos, green peppers, zuchinni, tomatos, garlic and tons of greens. EVOO on top. Need to buy more avocados!

9:00 - 10:00 Kettlebells (swings, squats, deadlifts (48kg)

10:45 3 oz beef jerky, 1 apple

2:00 ground turkey with tons of veggies (leftover from last night), 4 stalks asparagus

3:45 lemon larabar

6:00 strawberries

8:30 carne asada, 4 stalks asparagus, small handful of almonds and walnuts

9-14-09 Log

First off...an apology to anyone who might have noticed I haven't been around much lately. My husband and I just separated, and me and the three kidlings have been adjusting these last couple weeks. But I'm quickly putting up the last four days food logs, though there are no pretty pictures. And I'm now back in the game! So thanks for sticking around!

9-14-09 7.75 hrs sleep~

8:00 1 egg with mushroom, pepper, tomato, cilantro, garlic, mixed leafy greens. 8 strawberries and 2 Tbs sun butter.

8:30 Kettlebells: 5 min TGUs with 12 kg. then 30 sec. swings, 30 sec. overhead press and hold, 30 sec planks...repeat for 20 minutes.

9:15 "annie" Time: 16:42 rx.

11:30 Lunch at Soup Plantation. Huge salad full of good things (beets and banana squash were my treats!)...2 oz of chicken and sunflower seeds for fat.

3:00 8 strawberries.

5:45 4 oz shrimp, 4 stalks asparagus, a couple cherry tomatoes

6:30 - 7:30 Taught Xbiking.

7:45 Larabar

9:30 ground turkey with a gazillion veggies.

bed at 11:30. Hard to go to bed earlier after teaching so late!

Sunday, September 6, 2009

9-6-09 log

bed at midnight, didn't set alarm...still woke up at 6:30...ugh! managed to doze for another hour, but still not 8 hr. Apparently I need to just assume that my body wakes a 6:30 and always make it to bed by 10:30.

9:00 2 eggs, sauted mushrooms, red onions, garlic, tomatoes, and greens. 1/4 cup guacamole.

12:00 pint of raspberries on the way home from Costco. Too delicious looking to wait.

1:00 Turkey patty, 1/2 cup guacamole, veggies (zuchinni, radishes, celery, cucumber).

5:00 larabar and 6 almonds

7:30 Rubio's (Grande Salad with mahi...no beans, cheese, or rice. Extra guac and cabbage.)

10:00 1 hard boiled egg